


Professor Murphy (Cillian Murphy x reader)

by Thomassshelby



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV), cillian murphy - Fandom
Genre: 16 year age gap, Age Difference, Cuddling, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Happy Ending, Loss of Virginity, Shower Sex, Teacher-Student Relationship, Technically y/n wouldn’t be in school but just ignore that lol, age gap
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2019-12-29 19:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18300632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thomassshelby/pseuds/Thomassshelby
Summary: Y/n has moved to the America from Ireland just over a year ago with her family to start fresh, as well as starting her senior year in a new school.One day she finds out her Maths teacher has left, leading to a replacement teacher, who has also moved from Ireland to America, Mr. Murphy, and her new neighbour too.Eventually, Cillian even becomes the Actor we all know and love today...{the start of the story takes place around 2009}





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Also apologies if I get any grades or school years (like junior, senior, 10th grade) wrong, I'm English so I use things like year 11 and six form shit like that. But im going to try stick to American terms ;)
> 
> Also I did post this on my Wattpad (tomsmytype) with Tom Hiddleston, only a few chapters though, but I’ve adapted it to be with Cillian Murphy.

Characters:  
Y/n, Cillian Murphy, Jamie Dornan (young) - readers brother.  
School friends: Leonardo DiCaprio (young), Ben affleck (young), Dylan O’Brien , Taron Egerton, Finn Cole, Jenna Coleman.

[story starts around September-December 2009]

"DAD!" I shouted, tears streaming down my face.

My dad could deal with having a drink here and there, but this wasn't just casual drinking, this was 'drink to get drunk' drinking. He was getting way too violent and there was no way I could stop it.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" He shouted back, pushing my mother, causing her to collapse to the floor. Although tears were pouring down my cheeks I stood still, trying to stand my ground, trying to be strong when my mum couldn't. He stomped over to me in anger that I hadn't moved, stopping only a few inches away from my face.

"Don't you lay a finger on her." I commanded, gritting my teeth and clenching my jaw.

As I requested he didn't touch my mum, instead he decided to swing for me. I dropped to the floor quickly from the power of the punch, sending me unconscious immediately.

The next morning, everything was different, when I got up the downstairs that was usually filled with shouting from my parents was now quiet. I didn't want to get up, but I needed to for school and yes, I hated school, but anywhere would be better than here.

"Hun, we're moving. Pack your things." My mum said very blankly. I felt a wave of relief go over me but her next words just destroyed me. "Our family needs a new start, which means all of us y/n. You, me and your dad."

I felt my face drop even more, if that was even possible. "W-what?" I barely made out, realising dad was going to be coming with us.

"I'm sorry baby, just please." She apologised, her eyes starting to become glassy and red. "I know it's not what you wanted, I know. He promised me that he'd stop. I won't let him hurt you ever again." She added, a tear now escaping.

She sounded heart broken, I knew she was broken too, having to watch what happened last night. She was hurt as much as I was, probably more, thinking that it was her fault.

Maybe this move was a needed change though. I did love my dad and so did my mum, he just got too carried away sometimes. If it could help our family be wholesome again, I'd do anything.

I eventually nodded and pulled my mum into a much needed hug, as she cried into my shoulder. She released after a few minutes with a slight smile on her face however he puffy eyes were still very noticeable. I was confused why she was smiling but soon enough she answered my question. "Jamie’s going to be living with us too." She said in tears of joy. "You'll be going to school together, just like old times."

"We're going to America?" I asked, my eyes now tearing up in joy too. "I've missed him so much, wow I'm so excited."

I pulled her in for one more hug before leaving to go pack upstairs.

***

[Jamie Dornan is playing your brother]

"Jamie!" I cried, running towards my brother, dropping my bags, as he held out his hands running to me too. We met in the middle as he picked me up slightly and spun me around.

"God I missed you." He mumbled, eventually putting me down. Me and Jamie were twins, so being away from each other for almost a year was torture. He wanted to start six form (junior year) at a different school, he couldn't deal with mum and dad fighting all the time, but as much as I missed him I felt like I had to stay home and help my mum out.

"Me too." I smiled largely.

After we all got out the airport, we drove to our new house. Jamie had been staying in a small apartment before but he decided he wanted to live with us to help our family come together again, at least until school ends.

"Wow this place is big." Jamie emphasised as parked in the driveway.

He was right, the house was giant. It looked to be three stories but still homely, with tones of windows and a large garage, that was all hidden away by trees and a gate that locked. The house was indeed Elizabethan, with wooden panels along the corridors, ornate chandeliers and golden frames, waiting to be filled with family portraits. The stairs led down into a tall galleried room with a rug spread out over flagstones and a fireplace big enough to park a car in. A long polished wooden table had been set for three. "How is it so big?" I asked in admiration.

"Well, your dads new job here is very well paid and respected, they said they'd help us out finding an appropriate house," She smiled, admiring the amazing house. Jamie’s expression seemed to change, I guess it was the mention of dad, him acting like dads helped us out even though he started all this.

After walking around, me and Jamie went upstairs again, checking out the bedrooms and who could get the best one.

"I Bagzi this one!" He yelled, running into a room and jumping onto the neatly made bed.

I laughed at him and walked around the floor a little more. I found more stairs and decided to go up, leading to the top floor, there were two large bedrooms at each sides of the stairs, one light grey and burgundy, making it look very grand and the other also grey and dark blue.

"JAMIE!" I called for him. I heard him run up the stairs quickly, probably thinking I was being murdered. "Look!" I said before he could even ask where the axe murderer was.

"Okay never mind I want this one." He chuckled entering the blue room.


	2. The new maths teacher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n meets Mr. Murphy in class and he notices she’s from Ireland.

*About a year later, first day as a senior*

I walked out the house, down the drive and into my car with Jamie, just thinking about how well this last year has gone. 

Home life was good, mum was happy and dad were doing great, he was earning quite the pay cheque too. My dad even bought me and Jamie a car - I got a Mercedes and he got an Aston Martin - but because he was lazy I would always drive us to school. 

Settling in at school was quite weird, seen as though I'd literally left everyone behind in Ireland, it was lonely at first but Jamie was here with me and because we were the same age, we had nearly all the same classes. 

It was shocking to me finding out that Jamie was quite popular, which also made me popular. I became a part of his group too, which were mostly boys but I didn't mind. There was Finn Cole, Leonardo DiCaprio, Dylan O’Brien, Ben Affleck, Taron Egerton and Jenna Coleman. 

"Morning." I yelled to Jenna, Leo, Ben and Taron as I walked up to the locker area with Jamie. 

"Hey," They called back.

"Oh my Y/n, you know that Miss Halliday moved jobs last term? The new replacement is supposed to be coming in!" Jenna cried. I laughed at her enthusiasm. "I hope he's hot." She smirked. 

"You hope who's hot?" I hear two voices behind me, it was Dylan and Finn, then I felt Dylan’s hands snake around my waist, squeezing me tight. It has just been the six week holidays, so I guess this was a welcome back sort of thing.  

"The new Maths teacher." Taron chuckled, causing Dylan to removed hands and laugh along with us. 

***

As we entered the Maths corridor we saw our class lined up outside our usual room, ugh that means a new seating plan. We joined the back of the queue and argued about why we should have a new seating arrangement, Miss Hailday just let us sit where we wanted. But then again, our group was quite large so there was a chance some of us would be sat near each other. 

Eventually it got to me at the very end. "Where am I sat?" I muttered, not looking up at the teachers face. 

"Name?" He asked. His voice made me look up, it was different to other teachers, more like mine. He had short dark hair, blue eyes and a clean shave.

I pulled a puzzled face, trying to work out where he was from going off of just one word. "Do you have a name?" He chuckled. 

My face lit up. He's fucking Irish. 

"Yeah, Sorry." I said mentally slapping my self. "Y/n Dornan." 

"It's okay." He smiled "You're sat next to Dylan, behind Jamie and Leonardo." He read, looking up from the sheet he had in his hand. 

"Thanks." I smiled, walking into the class room, Jenna eyed me and gave me a look of what was best described as ‘he's so fucking hot isn't he?’ I smiled and nodded slightly, indicating she was right. 

"God, all the girls are gawking over this new teacher." Jamie mumbled to me as I sat down in my seat, I glanced over to Dylan who was looking around the class room clearly agreeing with what Jamie said. 

"I wouldn't blame them." I muttered back, making him roll his eyes and Dylan turn to me laughing. 

"So as you all know your teacher, Miss Halliday, has changed schools-" The teacher started. 

"She actually went to prison sir." I spoke up, making the entire class laugh, including our new teacher. 

"I'm so glad someone said that." Jamie laughed. 

"Prison?" The teacher questioned. 

"Yeah, she decided that teaching in a prison would be better than here sir." Leo answered. 

"Oh, how kind." The teacher laughed again. "Anyway I will be your new permanent teacher. My name is Mr. Murphy." He smiled. 

Mr. Murphy. He's got an Irish accent, he's exquisitely dressed, what more could I want?

"Y/n. " I heard someone call. It was around half way through the lesson and I was already day dreaming. I snapped back into reality to be met by Mr. Murphy looking at me with his brows raised like he'd just asked me a question. My eyes widened and darted around the room, looking for answers or maybe even the initial question. 

"X is 7." Jamie whispered. 

"7?" I said, questioning my entire existence, looking back to Mr. Murphy. 

"Correct." He nodded, moving onto another question. 

I slumped into my seat, thanking Jamie as he and Dylan just laughed at me, which I replied with a quiet groan, furrowing my eyebrows, totally regretting fangirling over my teacher. I decided to keep quiet or the rest of the hour and maybe listen for once. 

When the lesson finished, I packed my things away in my bag and started to walk out with my friends, but I heard someone call my name. I turned to see Mr. Murphy motioning time to come over to him. And so I did. 

He leaned on his desk, putting each hand down, flat on the table top. 

"I just wanted to ask about your grades." He said, making my face turn puzzled, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion. "You've had absolutely terrible grades in the past but they seem to have jumped suddenly, how is that so?" He asked. 

I knew exactly what he was talking about, my past life in the UK. My family problems. My dad drinking. My brother leaving. I felt my breath quicken and the room felt hot all of a sudden. Only the people who were involved knew, I had never told anyone. 

He seemed to notice my change and spoke up again. "Personal problems? It's okay you don't have to tell me. But obviously I'm always here if you need me, I'm not promising I can fully understand or relate but I'm always here to listen and help if I can." He gave a warm smile and I gave a weak on back. He stood up, making me realise how tall he was, and sat down at his desk, staring to type. 

"Thank you Mr. Mur-" 

"You're Irish?" He asked, raising his brows and smiling. "Sorry for interrupting but you I'm sure you know how it is being the one." He laughed. 

"You'll get used to it, but honestly being from the UK is a perk in America." I chuckled. I was pleasantly surprised he’d picked up on my accent; unlike Jamie, I sounded slightly British. 

"A perk?"

My smile grew very large. "It's the accent sir." I emphasised, moving my hand like singing in charades. 

"Ah." He laughed. "I'll bare it in mind."

"Have you just moved here?" I asked. 

"Yeah a few weeks ago for the new school year, I thought I'd adventure or something. I've moved near the w-" He was cut off by the next lesson bell. 

"Shit." I mumbled. 

He just laughed instead of telling me off. "You should go, I don't want you to be late." 

I nodded and started to walk out but then stopped at the door, looking back over to Mr. Murphy who had noticed I'd stopped. "Thanks by the way." I smiled weakly, remembering earlier.

"No problem, my doors always open." He smiled back warmly. I walked out the classroom finally and headed to my next class, thinking of him. 

God dammit his personality is perfect too.


	3. The new neighbor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n finds out that he teacher lives just a few houses down from hers.

*After school...*

We all went to Dylan's house after school, so me and Jamie were a few hours late home, but my parents never minded, they're always working now anyways. 

"I think I'm going to go for a walk to the forest down the street, I'll be back in a bit, I've got my phone so if you need anything text me," I said as me and Jamie got out of my car. He nodded and smiled, going into the house. 

When I finally got off our property, I thought about which way to go. ‘I always go right for school so maybe I should adventure and go left instead,’ I thought. 

I only passed a few houses when I saw bright lights making me look towards the street to see what it was. But that was the worst idea I could've done, as the thing just came straight for me. I couldn't move because the car was so close so I clenched my entire body and squeezed my eyes shut. 

Thankfully I heard a loud screech and the engine stopping, followed by the car door opening very quickly. "I'm so so sorry my lights must have been way too bright, are you okay???" The man questioned. 

I opened my eyes and to my surprise I saw what looked to be my maths teacher. "Mr. Murphy?" I said his name just to make sure. 

"Y/n, are you okay?? Did I hit you??" He questioned, extremely worried. 

"Don't worry your car didn't touch me," I chuckled. 

"Jesus,” He breathed out "I thought I'd killed you." He sat on his car bonnet and a hand on his face, resting his elbow on the other arm that was wrapped around his body. 

"I'm okay Mr. Murphy,” I gave a genuine smile, putting a hand on his arm to comfort him, the least sexual place on his body I could think of. 

"Please, out of work call me Cillian." He chuckled, taking his hand away from his face. 

"Okay... Cillian." I felt awkward thinking about it, but as soon as it came out it sounded natural. "Ohh the wood. You moved near the wood," I realised, remembering when he was cut off with the bell. 

"Yeah, wow I cant believe you remember that," He chuckled. "I've been around for a couple of weeks, how come I haven't seen you yet?"

"Oh well I don't really go on walks that much."

"No kidding," He joked, referring to me nearly getting hit. 

"Wow thanks," I said sarcastically, making him give an airy laugh. 

"I usually just go over to my friends and do stuff, but I probably need a good walk or two. Anyway welcome to the neighbourhood and it was good to see you Cillian," I smiled. 

"Do you want any company?" He asked. 

I literally wanted to say yes so fucking much it pained me to stop my self, I just needed sometime alone, but hopefully he'll accompany me next time. 

"Another day, but maybe next time don't run me over," I joked, making his smile grow, but I wasn't sure if it was I said maybe or the joke. 

"Well I guess I'll see you tomorrow." He said.

"Oh yeah, okay...." My face dropped slightly, thinking about this whole situation, I looked at my feet in awkwardness. "Bye then." I looked back up to his face with a smile on it. ‘Did he realise my mood change? I can't hide anything can I?? Ugh. Wait... can he tell that I'm flirting...’ I thought. I could feel my cheeks getting hotter and redder. 

"Have a good day. And try not to get run over again," He chuckled, making me laugh. 

"Bye Cillian ," I waved and he smiled as I walked away, relieved that my last Bye wasn't awkward, but also questioning life one again for embarrassing my self as always.


	4. I’m free tonight.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cillian offers Y/n a lift after school.

*A few weeks later: last lesson of the day...*

Cillian motioned with his head to come up to the front, holding out the chalk, smiling.

Everyone was talking, so no one noticed him except me, even Dylan had stopped talking to me because I was so distracted. It was quite a hot day, so Cillian had taken off his blazer and had rolled his sleeves just to the right spot. 

I got up, confusing all three of them why I was getting out of my seat, but I ignored their repeated calls and walked to the front to Cillian. 

He gave me the chalk, our hands touching slightly in the process, making me bite my lip to try hide my nerves, which thankfully he doesn't seem to notice, he just smiles. 

I rip my eyes away from him and try concentrating on the board, the problem seemed way too hard for my level too, ‘how the fuck am I supposed to do this?? Is he doing this on purpose?’ I thought. 

I try my hardest, when I finished, I looked back to him but he shakes his head. I give him puzzled look, he chuckles slightly and stands up from leaning on his desk and takes the chalk without warning, brushing my hand just like before. 

"You need to times out the brackets before you can take it over, because they're tied together," He explained, while writing something on the board, but I was zoning out. "Y/n?" He mumbled trying to get my attention. 

"Sorry Cillian." 

"That's Mr. Murphy to you." He raised his eyebrows in seriousness, my stomach immediately drops and I gulp audibly, I wasn't sure if it was nerves or he was turning me on- "I'm only kidding. No ones listening, so don't worry. I'm sorry for scaring you," He laughed. I smiled back, chuckling slightly. 

"Do you revise at all at home?" He asked. I just rolled my eyes. "Oh okay, I'll take that as a no then," He laughed. "But you are working at a grade A, so it's okay for now." 

"I can't even do one problem though!" I peered at the answer that Cillian had corrected. 

"I honestly thought you'd get that," He said, I roll my eyes again making him laugh. "Maybe you're distracted?" He suggested. 

I bit my lip and loosely nodded. 

He tried to hide his smile, pressing his lips together but he ended up failing, revealing his grin. "Maybe you should consider getting some maths help," He said, trying to go back to the original subject. 

"How?"

"Look online? I've heard if you search on YouTube or on google, like mymaths or something." He suggested, writing another question on the board. 

"Would you be able to help me?" I asked, instantly regretting my decision. I wasn't good at playing the mysterious seductive type, and I really wasn't sure what way this was going. 

He stopped what he was doing and looked in my direction again. "W-well, my schedule is basically free." I raised my eyebrows for him to continue and answer yes or no. "If you're free...after school, just come here. I usually stay for but anyway, so it's not a trouble."

"Yeah. I'm free tonight,” I said slowly. 

A smile formed on his lips, he bit them trying not to grin again. "If you want, you can sit back down now."

"Okay," I said my mood dropping slightly, but I still smiled and walked towards the back of the room to my friends, thinking about tonight, knowing we'd be alone.

"What was that about?" Taron asked immediately. I sat down at my desk to see all of my staring right at me, I honestly hadn't even noticed when Finn, Taron, Ben and Jenna had moved over. 

"Yeah, you've been up there for like 10 minutes," Leo added. 

"He asked me to do a question but I got it wrong so he said he'd go though it with me after school."

"Your could've just asked me help though," Finn pointed out. "Or any of us!"

"Yeah, but Mr. Murphy is an actual maths teacher."

"I mean, she's kinda got a point-" Jamie tried, but Dylan butted in. 

"You're just doing this because you think he's hot, aren't you??" He questioned, almost shouting now. 

"Mr. O'Brien, please keep your noise down." I heard someone say. I look up to see Cillian next to our desks. Fuck maybe he heard. "And can you please refrain from talking about that, it's very inappropriate." He added very seriously. ‘Yep, he heard. And he just inferred that my crush on him was weird and basically never going to happen. How could I not see this coming?’ I thought. 

My face dropped and I looked down at the desk in embarrassment, I felt his concerned stares but eventually he left, sighing. The rest of the lesson dragged and felt hours long. But eventually I heard Mr. Murphy call out. "You're dismissed class."

But I had to stay.

I stayed in my spot, watching all my friends get up. "I'm taking your car, walk home!" Jamie yelled as I heard him close the door behind him, leaving me and Mr. Murphy together. 

I looked up from the table, over to him sat at his desk, typing. He noticed my presence and he pulled a puzzled face but he started to smile. "I honestly thought you'd leave after that," He chuckled, getting up from his chair and walking to my desk. He sat on Jamie’s chair, turning around so he would face me more. "Right so..." he wrote down the problem in my book "Explain what you would do." He said, like he'd totally forgotten what had happened earlier.

"I get the start bit kinda: you put the bottom bit up to the other side, and then do the grouping thing and then the bracket goes to other side again." 

He chuckled slightly at the way I explained it "Well you need to word it differently but that's basically it. Maybe you were just distracted then." 

"Maybe, yeah," I laughed lowly, feeling my cheeks turn red. 

*around 45 minutes later*

We went through some more problems for while. "Well, if that's it, you can go now," He smiled, getting up from the chair and turning it around, putting it back under the desk. 

"Yeah that's it," I clarified, collecting my things and shoving them in my bag. "Bye Cillian."

"Have a good night Y/n." He called back and then I left closing the door. That wasn't that bad. After I got my coat from the lockers, I headed to the parking lot, only to remember Jamie had taken my car home. It wasn't a short walk either, it was least half an hour by car so who knows how long it would be, but there was no other way I could get home. I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at the time, 4:10pm ugh. I started walking down the road, but heard a familiar Irish voice only a few minutes later. 

"Your house is like 30 minutes away, why are you walking home?" 

I turned to see Cillian in a black jaguar, with his window rolled down. "Jamie took my car, my parents aren't available to give me a lift and I don't have any money for a taxi." 

"I don’t want to step over any boundaries here but I can give you a lift if you’d like," He smiled. 

"I don't want to be any trouble. Are you sure?"

"I live only a few houses over, theres no problem," He explained, leaning over to the other door and opening it, signalling me to get in. 

My smile widened and I approached the car, closing the door behind me. "Thank you so much." 

"It's not a problem, don't worry." He said back. 

After about 20 minuets of conversation, Cillian asked me a question. "Where are your parents then? Why aren't they here to pick you up?"

"Well, they're just not around that much..." I answered vaguely, my mood dropping slightly. 

"Sorry, I know you probably don't want to talk about this stuff to your teacher." 

"No no, it's not that. I don't tell anyone at all. I just don't want them to get annoyed at me for being emotional, and I've been through a lot so I could probably go on for hours."

"Well I'm here. You can tell me anything, I promise I won't judge or get annoyed," He said very convincingly, accompanied with a warm smile. But just as I was about the open my mouth he came to a stop. "Another time?" He suggested. 

"Maybe we could go for that walk." I responded. I could feel my smile reappearing.


	5. First kiss and first confession

I sighed as we both stopped in front of Cillian’s house, but it was a good sigh. I'd told him about my family and I definitely felt relieved after talking about everything, letting all the shit just come out in the open. Cillian was shocked at what I'd told him but it didn't seem to change his view on me, which I was thankful for.

It honestly felt like we’d known each other for years.

"Thank you for telling me everything," He smiled. "It means a lot that I'm the first person you've confessed this to."

A smile grew on my face. "You're easy to talk to, so don't give me all the credit," I said, making him chuckle.

We stood, facing each other, in non-awkward silence, only for a few seconds, but it felt nice just staring into each other's eyes. However, I felt someone getting closer: I wasn't sure if it was me, or him, or me and him.

But I wasn't backing away.

And neither was he.

My eyes looked down to his lips and that's all I needed to do. Our lips touch, and it is soft and gentle.

We separated slowly.

"I'm sorry," He got out, barely audible.

His hand still at the small of my back, we stood very close for a few seconds until my eyes started to gravitate down to the floor, he's probably thinking that was a mistake. “It’s fine, just forget it happened...”

After a few seconds he spoke up, “do you want to forget it happened?”

My eyes darted around for a moment or two, taking in what he’d just said.

I shook my head weakly.

But I soon felt a hand under my chin, gently guiding my gaze back up to him, allowing me to see his grin. My lips curled at the slight and I learned in intentionally this time. I felt every movement his lips made in that very moment against mine. His warm, plush lips move against mine, and slowly go for more. He parts his lips, and we kiss again, but it's more passionate than the previous one.

Our moment is stopped by a dinging sound and I release from the kiss, realising it was my phone. "Sorry, it's Jamie," I laughed awkwardly.

"It's okay," He chuckled.

I clicked the answer button on my phone and put it to my ear. "Jamie, I'm kinda busy right now..." I spoke, looking over to Cillian and smiling a little.

Jamie: "Oh I'm so sorry, you just said I could call you if I needed you."  
Me: *laughing slightly* "I definitely said text, not call."  
Jamie: "I'm really sorry, but you need to come home, mum and dad are back, and dad’s wondering where you are."  
Me: "Why what's happening? What's wrong?"  
Jamie: "Nothing is wrong, don't worry."  
Me: *relieved* "Okay good. I'm near so I'll be home in a second."  
Jamie: "Okay, see you then, love you, bye."  
Me: "Love you too, bye."

I hung up and put the phone back into my pocket "Sorry that was my brother."

"That's okay, don't worry,” Cillian smiled. He opened his mouth to say something but he didn't seem sure, so he closed it.

"What?" I asked.

"Would I stepping over boundaries if I asked for your phone number?"

"I feel like we’ve kind of passed that point.”

"Well... can I have your phone number then?" He repeated, making us both start to laugh. we both got out our phones and swapped, each putting in our numbers. "Oh, your dad is calling." He said, making me look up at my phone screen in his hands. We swapped phones once again and answered the call.

I put the phone to my chest so my dad couldn't hear what I was saying. "I'm really sorry about this, I'll message you," I said before he smile and leaned in for a quick kiss.

"I'll see you tomorrow," He beamed. I nodded and grinned back as he turned and walked through his gate.

"Hey dad, what's up?"

***

After a talking to my father about how I should have answered the phone quickly instead of saying goodbye to a boy, I went up stairs to Jamie's room, so I could play on the PS4 with him.

But after only a game, my phone dinged. "Oof Mrs popular,” Jamie joked. I laughed at him and picked up my phone. It was a text.

**Cillian: Hey, I'm really sorry if you got the wrong impression from earlier.**

My heart almost broke in half as read the text and I waited for the next text to pop up, watching those three dots.

**Cillian: I was just a bit shocked at the kiss, that's why I didn't react at first.**

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding, he was sorry about his reaction, not that he didn't want it. A smile appeared on my face while I typed my response, but he texted again.

**Cillian : Also I'm sorry if I just scared you with that first text, I've just realised how bad it sounds.**  
**Me: Well when I saw your second message I realised what you were talking about. But it's okay, I get you now 😂**  
**Cillian: Good x**  
**Me: I was thinking maybe we could go on another walk sometime, it was nice to chat with you x**  
**Cillian: Sure. I'm free after school Friday, is that okay? X**

"What you smiling 'bout?" Jamie asked.

"Nothing..." I tried. But Jamie snatched my phone out of my hands and looked at the screen. A smile grew wide on his face and he looked up.

"Who's Cillian?"

"No one."

"No one my arse, who's Cillian? I'm your best friends and twin brother, so I have a right to know who you've kissed," He stated.

"Well, Cillian is..." I started "Cillian... um. He's... um." Jamie raised his eyebrows. "Mr. Murphy," I mumbled.

"Huh?"

"Mr-fucking-Murphy," I confessed, a lot louder this time.

Jamie's eyebrows raised and he dropped his jaw, as well as my phone. "Are you serious?" He whisper-shouted.

I nodded.

His brows raised again and he paused for a bit, leaning back on the couch we were both on. "This isn't what I meant when I said you need a boyfriend-“

"We just kissed, that doesn't mean it's confirmed."

"You can't just kiss," He twisted.

"Come on Jamieee," I groaned. "I told you, what do you want me to say?"

“Have you actually thought this through? Like at all?”

I stayed quiet, avoiding his gaze.

After a few seconds he sighed, “is he nice?”

“Yeah, of course,” I nodded.

It was fact that there was kindness in Cillian’s smile, a gentleness. It was the smile of one who laughed with ease and saw under my awkward, nervous behaviour.

"Just make sure no one finds out then," He said, giving a weak smile, making me shut up and grin.

I picked my phone up from the floor and finally messaged Cillian back.

**Me: Yeah that's fine x**


	6. First date

I pressed my finger upon the door bell, tapping my foot and fiddling with my dress and looking behind me every so often. Maybe it was to check if anyone could see, but I think it was more my nerves. I'd never been on a date before; I'd never even had a boyfriend. I didn't know what to expect.

I saw his tall figure approaching the door and eventually opening it with a smile on his face. "Y/n, you look beautiful,” Cillian admired, looking down at my outfit.

After almost 5 months seeing him in his stunning suits that somehow fit in all the right places, I still wasn't used to him. He was wearing a white collared shirt with his sleeves rolled up, showing his toned arms, and smart pants; a lot more casual than his usual attire.

"Y/n?" He chuckled, causing me to zone back into reality. "You there?"

"Yeah sorry." I felt my cheeks flush red.

"It's okay,” He smiled, talking my hand in his and leading me to the dining area.

***

We were nearly finished eating (your favourite food), just chatting about our lives very comfortably. Cillian had quickly become the best person I could talk to; we’d been out on walks together everyday without fail since our first kiss, however this was my first time properly inside his house.

"So how have I done?" I asked him as we stood at the door together.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, I forgot to mention, this is my first ever date," I laughed.

"You should be asking me how I did then," He rephrased, with his gentlemanly charm.

"Jesus, you just getting better and better," I mumbled, but he must have overheard because he began to laugh.

"Why thank you darling, and same goes for you, definitely," He grinned and I blushed at the compliment. "Also I've been meaning to ask..." he started getting a little more serious. "I know I probably won't be able to be with you every minute and I probably can't take you out on normal dates and I know this isn't the best situation in the world and... there's definitely a difference in ages... but I've never been so happy. So maybe you'll consider being my girlfriend."

My jaw dropped at this small speech and I looked down trying to conceal my quick growing smile. I felt his hand go under my chin and tilt my head up to face him.

"Is that a no?" He asked, sadness audible in his tone.

I shook my head and his lips tugged forming a smile. "I would love to,” I said.

We both came closer to each other and touched lips. He parted his lips, and we kiss again, more passionate than the previous. I open my mouth a little, and our tongues meet. I open my mouth again, and this time our tongues collide in a slow, soft sweep.

I heard a loud ring in my back pocket, causing us to separate. I take my phone out and answer the call. "Dad, sorry I'm kinda busy right now-"

"Tea is on the table for hours and it's cold! WHERE ARE YOU!??" He yelled, making me flinch from his volume and move my ear away from the phone. "It's 9pm!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT THIS LATE??"

When he'd stopped telling me off I put the phone back to my ear. "Dad, I told you this morning and messaged you and Jamie that I'd be out this late, I'm really sorry," I apologised.

"NO YOU DID NOT!" He retorted, picking up his volume again. "GET HOME RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'll be a few minutes, bye."

He hung up the phone and I felt Cillian's hand under my chin again. I gave him a weak smile as he tilted my head and then kissed me. "I'm always here if you need somewhere to stay and you can always call me," He said, finally kissing me for the last time.


	7. I think I’m in love with you

*4 ish months later (Friday)*

I waited outside maths class just like usual, waiting for my day to light up, but today was different. 

Cillian stood at the door welcoming people and getting good afternoon back every so often. But when I approached him I kept my head down. Even when Cillian said "Good afternoon Y/n," I kept my gaze to the floor and carried on walking. 

I sat down getting a solemn look from Jamie and confused gazes from the rest of my friends around me, I could even see Cillian looking over, checking every minute or so. He knew he couldn't take me out the class or even ask what was wrong in front of everyone. I did stare back, but my face showed little to no emotion, all that was seen was my furrowed eyebrows and red tinted eyes. 

When end of class came around, Cillian signalled me to stay seated, so I told Jamie to meet me at the lunch hall. They nodded and left. 

"What happened?" He asked softly, coming over to my table and sitting in Jamie's seat in front of me. 

I rose my head from the table and breathed, trying to keep my tears in. "Things just aren't going good at home."

He put his hand in mine, uncrossing my arms on the table, relaxing and comforting me. His touch was so warm and I was honestly desperate for any sort of human contact. "Would you like to stay over tonight? We can watch a movie or go for a walk or just sleep, I don't care."

I gave him a weak smile and nodded. 

"Come on, let's get you up, you should go eat lunch," He exclaimed, giving my hand a squeeze then gently pulling my up to my feet. When I'd finished packing my bag he spoke up, "I'll be home late tonight, about 4, but you can have my keys and let your self in," He said, pulling his keys out his pocket and giving me his extra door key. "I'll see you tonight then," He smiled. 

I didn't say anything, I just reached around him and gave him a hug. He was slightly taken back by my sudden affection on school grounds, but soon enough wrapped his warm arms around my cold body. I hadn't realised the height difference, me being (your height) and him being definitely over 6 foot, but he leaned down slightly so he could hold me better, making me feel safe.

***

*Later that night*

I unlocked the door and went inside, closing it behind me, then walked into the living room, dropping my bag to the floor. 

I flopped onto the couch and got out my phone, calling my dad for the third time that I wasn't coming home, which funnily enough, he got quite annoyed at, unlike last time he said I hadn't called at all. 

I hung up the phone and went onto my fan account on Instagram, consisting mostly of aesthetic pictures of movies from my favourite directors or my favourite actress or actors. However I quickly realised didn't have any data left, so I needed to find Cillian’s router to get the password. I got up from the couch and looked around the room, unfortunately finding nothing, so I continued my search to his study. I spotted the WiFi box on his desk and turned it over putting in the password. 

My eyes drifted to a pile of dvds, almost collecting dust. I went over a flicked through them: most were 5 years old and I'd never heard of any of them. However there were a few recent, The first two Batman films, so I went back to the living room and put the first one on. 

After only 10 minutes I saw something in the corner of my eye, I'd been looking at my phone for the most of the movie but now my full attention was towards the tv. 

My eyes widened at the screen and my jaw dropped. It was Cillian. My Cillian. My boyfriend Cillian. Cillian fucking Murphy, Cillian. I fumbled around the couch to get my phone, that I must have dropped a few seconds ago. I searched his name on google and recognised the few films I'd seen in just a half an hour ago, so I scurried myself to the study once again. 

I flicked through the dvd pile once again, realising that they all matched up with my prior google search, even seeing Cillian's name written on some of the boxes. I sat down at his desk, laughing in disbelief until I heard the front door open and click closed. 

I heard a familiar set of weighted foot steps and a bag drop to the floor before hearing half my name being called out, followed by laughter. He must have seen the movie. "Y/n?" He called, finishing it this time. 

"I'm in your office," I yelled back. 

He walked in and picked up the first movie at the top of the pile in front of me. "So... I see you've found my stash," He chucked nervously, looking down at me, sat on his chair. 

"I cant believe you didn't tell me about this!" I exclaimed, trying to pull a sad face but failing miserably. 

"It never came up," He shrugged, smiling, finally relaxing once again. 

"I definitely asked what you did before teaching, and you didn't say it then."

"That's because I'm still doing it," He said simply, giving me a large grin before leaving the room. 

I followed him to the living room and plopped on the couch as he took out the disk while shaking his head and laughing at himself on the dvd cover with his face on it. "What would you like to do?" He asked when he'd finished 

"Watch a movie?" I suggested. He nodded and smiled, sitting next to me and turning on Netflix. 

***

I ended up persuading him to watch one of my favourite tv shows game of throws. 

"That was pretty good," He said when the episode ended. 

"You seem surprised," I laughed.

"No no," he chuckled. "I just really like the writing-“

“And the directing,” we both said at the same time. 

“Yeah yeah,” he said smiling. “Ooo wait, what’s favourite genre?” He turned his position, making his body face me. He looked intrigued, obviously wanting to find out if we had anymore similar interests. 

“Oh well I have quite a few but my perfect kind of movie or TV show would be crime-action-drama meets historical fiction.”

“Oh fuck, I think I’m in love with you,” he admired. 

The corners of my mouth twitched, trying to fight my smile, but I quickly gave in and let my bliss show. 

The next thing I knew, I leaned into his lips and felt the world fall away. His hand reaches for mine and they interlock as we kiss tentatively and tenderly.His lips press against mine with passion, love, and affection as his warm hands roam all over my clothed body. 

“You’re so beautiful,” He whispers so I feel his warm breath in my ear. I wrinkle my nose in protest.

“Shut up and kiss me,” I whisper back.

My lips gently brush his again but he lets out an airy laugh, making me release and start to chuckle too. 

As our laughter calmed down I spoke; “I love you too by the way,” I whisper as our eyes make contact. He grins and reaches his arm around me, pulling me into his chest then kiss my forehead lovingly. 

After a few moments of comfortable silence I felt a question pop up. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Is acting as good as you imagined?”

“Oh, even better. Are you interested? I can hook you up,” he joked. 

I sniggered. “Yeah of course, It’s been my dream since year 6 {10 years old}, that and mathematics, but obviously isn’t never gonna happen,” I shrugged. 

"Never gonna happen my arse, what's stopping you?" He asked with a warm smile on his face. 

"Well, I'm obviously still in school and stuff so it probably wouldn't work out,” I mumbled. 

"But it didn't stop me. I was teaching in England and acting there."

I stayed silent. 

“Seriously, what is it?”

“It’s... it’s um... My father. I’ve mentioned it once or twice but he said i’d never make it and even if I did, I’d be damaging the family name.” When I looked back up towards him, his smile had dropped. 

He reached his hand to my thigh and moved his thumb, showing his sympathy. It seemed as though he didn’t exactly know how to respond, although his tranquil vibe and empathy comforted me. "How about we watch the next episode?" He asked 

I breathed out a chuckle at his kindness and sent a smile his way, nodding slightly. He grinned and clicked the remote, finding the second movie.


	8. Stay

When the movie was about 20 minutes from ending, I felt tiredness come over me, Cillian noticed but I didn't want to bother him, even though I saw him eyeing me every time I tried to cover my yawns with my hands. My hectic household had put my peaceful nights and undisturbed long mornings in bed to a holt. 

Cillian turned his head and looked down at me, I looked up to him, making everything go in slow motion for a little while. But he spoke up, releasing me from my daze. "Would you like to go to bed?" He asked. 

I nodded. 

He took my hand and stood up, turning the tv off and eventually guiding me to the stairs with him, through the almost pitch black room. We came to a stop a little after the stairs, he opened a door to a nicely furnished, large room, with a double bed in the middle. 

"Cillian, I don't have any pyjamas," I addressed as he was turning on the bedside lamp, he turned towards me, chuckling slightly, flicking the switch on. He went over to the wardrobe and routed around, finishing a few moments later with some sweatpants and a button down. 

"They're too small for me so they should fit you nicely," He smiled. "You can keep them if you want." 

I nodded, smiling, talking the clothes as he pointed to the on suite bathroom. 

When I came out Cillian must have been sat on the bed, like he'd been waiting for me. He sprung up and laughed at my outfit, which fit didn’t fit as well as he’d advertised. “The sweatpants were too big, so you’re just gonna have to deal with me like this,” I chuckled. The button down finished by my upper thighs, covering my underwear but exposing my bare legs. Of course he wouldn’t mind though; he just grinned. 

He walked up to me slowly and pulled me closer to him wrapping his arms around me. His embrace was warm and his big, strong arms seemed very protective when wrapped around my damaged body. The world around me melted away as I squeezed him back, not wanting the moment to end.

"Good night darling," He hummed, kissing me gently on the head. 

"What? You're not staying?" I asked softly. 

He back up "Well... I just assumed you...wouldn't want me too," he reply’s slowly, pulling back a little to look me in the eyes, which clearly showed that I disagreed. "Oh... do you want me to stay?" He asks, his brows furrowing slightly. 

“Yes,” I answered. 

“Are you sure? I just- I don’t want to overstep any boundaries or do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

“Yes I’m sure,” I nodded, and a smile grew on his face. 

He walked around the bed while reaching under his T-shirt and pulling it off, revealing his toned body to me for the first time. He even smirked slightly when he saw me admiring the view. 

He climbed into bed quickly and flipped open the other sides covers for me. When I finally got in and he clasped me in a warm, slow and luxurious hug, I felt every problem melt away. His arm was wrapped around my waist, pulling me close and gently rubbing my arm. His touch made the world warmer somehow, my future seeming a little less bleak by the minute.


	9. My birthday

*A few weeks later*

 How did I get to this? 

 I stood by my unfortunately secret boyfriend as hetalked to my father, quite casually, almost as though we were a pair. However the topic differed from our relationship and much more about my grades in mathematics and if I had a any chance for a future. It seemed like only a few hours ago I was happily fixing Jamie’s tie, waiting for guests to arrive. 

 My father had decided to have a large gathering for my birthday; inviting friends, colleagues and people on our street, most likely to find me an eligible bachelor with rich parents. 

 “Jamie do you mind getting the door?” I asked, fumbling around my back to attach zip up the stupidly expensive dress while trying to get down the stairs as quick as possible. I hated myself for loving it so much; It was a long, black, v-neck dress with a skit finishing high above my knee, occasionally showing off a diamond chain around my upper thigh. 

 “Sure,” jamie yelled back. 

 However, I gave up quickly on the zip, opting to ask Jamie to try instead. “Jamie can you help me with my zip? There’s like an inch left and I can’t reach it,” I called, running down the last flight of stairs, leading to the main reception area of the house. 

 “Sir?” 

“Y/n?” A familiar Irish voice said, ignoring Jamie’s confusion. 

 I felt my throat go immediately dry, making me give an awkward cough. My eyebrows furrowed as I walked down the last few steps, gripping the banister to try calm my nerves. 

“Jamie, leave Y/n to answer the door and come meet our guests,” my father bellowed, causing my brother to quickly leave the room.

“What are you-“ we both said simultaneously.

“I can leave if you want,” he hesitated, stepping a foot back. 

“No stay, please. I don’t want you to go.” His eyes seemed to light up and a glowing smile formed on his face; I returned just as warm. 

 “Do you want me to..?” He pointed to his back, talking about my zipper. 

“Oh - yeah, if you don’t mind,” I grinned, turning around. 

He reached a hand to the zipped and gently pulled up, holding my hip with the other, possibly to steady me but that probably wasn’t the case, especially with his follow up comment. “You look beautiful.”

I turned around slowly, allowing his had to caress my curves, eventually stopping for rest at the small of my back. “So do you.”

My hand went for his, squeezing it and eventually pull him lightly, making him chuckle. My head turned to him just before we approached the the back door and he shot me another smile, brushing his thumb over the palm of my hand before letting go. 

Cillian’s hands met behind his back and he gazed around our large back garden; equipped with a pool and pool house as well as my fathers extremely snobby colleagues. “Do you know these people?”

“No,” I snorted. 

“Oh, that’s always good,” He chuckled. 

 After a while of casual chitchat, wanderingaround the garden together, my eyes met with my fathers. “You should meet my dad, he’s such a charmer,” I joked. 

“And so I’ve heard from all your wonderful tales.”

“Only good things, obviously.”

“Obviously,” he repeated, imitating a formal tone much like my fathers followed by a laugh between us both. 

“I should probably go talk to him, I’ll catch up with you -”

“He wants us both to come over,” Cillian said, making me look over to my dad. 

“He wants us both to come over?” I asked. 

“He wants us both to come over,” he repeated as though he was trying to work out himself where he’d gone wrong. 

After a heavy conversation - or more so an interrogation - with my father and Cillian about my stable future, somehow excluding me from talking, I found myself distanced from him. We obviously couldn’t spend too much time together or people would suspect something; all I could do was gaze over across the garden to see him try to entertain himself with the guests and free bar. We stole a few glances, but until the party started to die down, that was all we got. 

“Hey, I’ve been watching you from afar and I just can’t help notice how hot you are.”  

I stifled a laugh, trying not to choke on the desert I was eating. 

It was the familiar Irish voice I’d been longing to hear for the past hour and a half. He came and sat beside me, looking forwards while smirking. “You wanna go out sometime?” He joked, trying to hide his very obvious grin. 

He reached over and took my fork just a few centimetres from my mouth, eating the brownie piece.

I snorted. “I’m waiting for my prince actually.”

“Oh yeah?” He mumbled, still going at the brownie. 

“Oh yeah. He’s tall, amazing eyes,” I described. 

“Yeah?” 

“Very attractive indeed, and get this, he’s only 16 years older than me.”

“Oh wow, you’re set for life then,” he said, jokingly elbowing me while we both attempted to suppress our laughs. “Ah wait, 15 later tonight though.”

“Technically, we’ll always be 16 years apart—“

Cillian let out an airy laugh, “Stop.”

“Sorry,” I chuckled. 

“You coming to mine tonight?” He asked. 

“I’m having way too much fun, you’re probably going to have to drag me over there,” I replied sarcastically, looking up towards him.

His smile increased, if that was even possible. “Oh no, you stay, don’t let me ruin your fun.”

“Ah but then you’d miss out.”

“On what?” He asked. 

“Well, we’ve been together 8 months, I just thought since it’s my birthday...”

“Wait you’re not talking about..?” He finally put down the fork and his ears almost pricked up at my slight connotations. 

“Oof.”

“Oof?” He questioned. 

“Sorry gramps, you wouldn’t understand my millennial language,” I joked, getting up from my seat. 

“Wait—“

“See you at 8,” I grinned, patronisingly patting him on the shoulder before walking away.  

 


	10. Worth the wait [SMUT]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: (protected) sex, virginity taking, swearing, female receiving masturbation, fluffy ending ;))

“Cillian?” I called into the house, closing his front door behind me. 

After a brief moment he came out from the study; he must have taken is blazer off prior to my arrival and by now his collar was loose around his neck. “Hey.” 

“Hi,” I smiled. 

A few seconds past of us just looking at each other longingly until Cillian spoke up. “I think we should talk about what you said.”

The talk; the one I’d been been dreading to hear, but obviously it had to have come up sometime. When it came to these things, I felt helpless and weak, I had no idea what to think, say or do, without even starting any sexual activities. Sure, I could talk with Cillian for hours and we’d kissed many times, even slept in the same bed, but we’d done nothing more. The problem was, I’m assuming Cillian had sexual history, I did not.

“Did you mean what you said?” He asked. 

“Yes.” I felt myself cringe and, in nervousness, I laughed. 

He chuckled for a second but then got serious, “I really need to make this clear, Y/n. I won’t do anything you’re not comfortable with and I’m not trying to push anything on to you either, if you don’t want to do something, you need to say, this will only work if we have good communication.”

“Okay,” I breathed out. He looked down at me and gave a smile, extending one of his hands out for me to grab and lead me upstairs. When we got to his room, his grip left me and he went towards the door the close it behind himself. 

“I’m a virgin,” I said out of the blue. 

He paused for a second before turning around. He looked quite startled at the comment, honestly as did I, but I just stood there waiting for his response. He put both hands on my upper arms and ran them up and down softly, comforting me. “We don’t have to do this.”

“I know,” I mumbled. 

“I can wait till marriage if you’d like,” he added, giving a laugh to lighten the mood. 

“No,” I chuckled, “I’m ready, I just — I’m not sure what to do.”

“Don’t worry, you just need to relax and I’ll do the work,” he smiled, caressing my arm. 

“Doesn’t it hurt on your first time? I’ve heard it hurts,” I rambled. 

“It can, but I’ll go slow, I promise,” he nodded, the corners of his mouth tugging into a smile once again. 

After a moment of comfortable silence, a grin came out and I felt myself finally lean in. We backed up and eventually making him lower to the bed. I kissed him deeply, feeling the electricity surge through my veins as he pulled me onto his lap, his hand slid up my leg slowly, resting just slightly under the skirt of my dress. 

He flipped us over and sat me on the bed, making him stand over me. "You're sure you want to do this?" He asked, a reassuring smile appeared on his lips and blue eyes glisten with kindness. 

I nodded. "Yes." 

He leaned down and kissed me whilst unbuttoning his shirt, throwing it to the floor so he could help me out of my dress. 

Similar to the body of a 25 year old, he was slim but muscular, putting to shame the skinny lads I grew up with back in Ireland. I imagined, even 10 years on, he’d still look as perfect. How could anyone not love this man? And how could he pick me? He could have had almost anyone; someone with a bigger bust, a smaller waist, blonde hair, more self-confidence. 

Even so, he picked me.

His large, warm hands traveled up my body, removing my dress, causing goosebumps to form all over my skin. 

Instinctively, my hands fell to cover myself, causing Cillian to let out a light chuckle, “you’re so beautiful, don’t hide that.”

“Sorry,” I laughed. 

He stepped back slightly and pulled his pants off slowly, then came close, positioning himself in front of me as I sat on the bed. His lips connected with mine and not long after and I felt his fingers hook into the waistband of my underwear. The fabric was pulled down my smoothly shaved legs and placed on the floor before I took my bra off and dropped it in a similar area. 

I felt his hot breath travel from my lips to my neck as he gave me small kisses and nibbles. One hand was placed on my arm as the other moved down to my entrance, gently rubbing my bud. Immediately, pleasures shot through my body causing a light moan to escape my lips. 

Sure, I’d touched my self before, even thought about Cillian while doing it, but this felt completely different. 

He eventually stopped and took off his boxers, allowing me to see himself. He was bigger than I expected, but come to think about it, it must have been theoretically impossible to have a man this gentlemanly with an average size. 

As usual, out of awkwardness, I snorted a short laugh, hiding the fact my heart was thumping out of my chest. 

He smiled, gently tilting my head up with a finger under my chin. “I love you so much,” he chuckled, kissing me on the forehead before going to his bedside. 

My breathing seemed to calm and I felt myself relax. “I love you too,” I responded, turning around to enjoy his toned body, viewing his perfect behind and muscular back. 

He came back just a moment later with a condom on. As I looked up, a smile came his lips once again, giving comfort and compassion before he spoke up. "Please tell me if you want to stop,” he said, making me nod in response. 

I moved back on the bed, stopping near the middle, just like him, before he guided me down so I was laying flat and he was propped up. He looked down and positioned himself just at my entrance. 

His hips slowly went forward and the tip of him entered, making me clutch the mangled bedding around us as he continued to go deeper and deeper. 

I unconsciously mumbled in discomfort, shutting my eyes. 

He paused and looked back up to me. “Do you want me to stop?"

I shook my head. "No, keep going."

He nodded and continued entering me, going slowly, allowing me to adjust to his size. When he was finally all the way inside of me, our eyes met in pure bliss, the corners of my mouth tugging at a smile as I nodded, indicating him to move. 

He pulled out and then thrust back in, slightly harder this time, but the pain had now turned into pleasure, making me unintentionally moan. 

He gripped his arms around me and continued to thrust into me slowly, grunts and moans coming from him too now, every thrust giving a sudden shock of pleasure that I'd never felt before. 

He started to go faster, his hips smacking into mine with more force. We both start to moan loudly, Cillian in the pleasure of finally being inside of me — he hadn’t had sex in more than 8 months and it sounded like he was enjoying himself, maybe even thankful he waited. 

“Cillian,” I murmured. 

I bite my lip to stifle the scream building up as he goes deeper and deeper each time, filling me up and making me feel even tighter than I already was.

“Fuck Y/N,” he groans. “You feel good.” I can only answer with a low moan, my body and mind too lost in the pleasure. With every thrust, his pelvis brushes against my clit, igniting a wave of tingles to shoot through me, slowly building each time.

His lips were brought back to mine, softening the moans, as his thrusting became more and more sloppy. 

“Fuck,” I mumbled. I felt myself start to tighten even more around him and the unbelievable feeling shooting through my entire body, causing me to basically scream in ecstasy. We hadn't quite reached release so he kept thrusting, my legs now trembling. 

“I’m gonna cum,” he groaned. Our climaxes happen one right after the other. I fall over the edge first, biting into his shoulder as my fingers and heels by his lower back, pulling him closer, burying him deeper inside of me. Every nerve in my body unravels, arching my back, straining my muscles. 

I let out a cry as he stiffens above me and I can feel his cock pulse, his warm seed filling the condom. 

“Jesus,” he breathes out as his spurts slow down.

We lay there for a moment, tangled up in each other, the feel of sweat starting to tickle our hot skin. Our bodies relax and I loosen my grip on him, legs falling off his hips, fingers sliding out of the impressions I’d left in his back. 

He half-collapses on top of me, letting his weight sink onto my chest enough to take some pressure off his tired arms. Every now and again, I can feel his dick give another final twitch inside of me, making me shiver.

Cillian rolls off and flops onto his back besides me. The rush of cool air chills me, but I’m too spent; my body too weak to do anything about it. Breathing heavily, we both stare at the ceiling for a moment before turning to look at each other. There’s a wide smile on my face and he can’t help but smile back.

“That was amazing,” I say, my eyes and voice a little dopey. “I totally see the hype,” I added, earring a laugh from Cillian. 

“Yeah, it was worth the wait,” he smiled. 

So it was true; after a long 8 months of waiting, he thought it was worth it, and most likely if I hadn’t mentioned it today, it would’ve been more.

I lean over onto my side and press my lips to his in a slow, sweet kiss. His face softens and he gently kisses me back.

“Come here,” he says when I pull away. He extends one arm and offers his chest for me to cuddle into whilst lifting the covers. I don’t hesitate to take him up on it. I rest my head on his shoulder as his arm wraps around me and the duvet falls over us. I throw my arm across his middle and sigh happily, his fingers gently playing with my hair. 

I’d come over later than expected, 11:30 maybe, so by now the moon was very present in the blackened sky. 

I felt myself drift off, listening to the gentle breaths of Cillian, feeling safe in his embrace.


	11. Too young? [SMUT]

I’d been so head deep in my extension work, I didn’t even notice the very sly and suggestive comments about Cillian, mumbled by a group of my classmates. He had walked by, purposely knocking my arm, making me look up at the smirk on his face — this is when I heard the remarks. I smiled back to him, but the group started to snigger, making me turn my head slightly, taking a peek at the haul of 4 girls on the back row. 

Lauryn’s goggly eyes were hard to miss, looking at Cillian as he helped her through a question, just across the room from me. I had to admit though, she definitely wasn’t blind; I had told Cillian just a few days ago how hot he looked in his navy pinstripe trousers and white shirt ensemble. However, that obviously didn’t take away the fact she was very clearly staring at my (secret) boyfriend. 

“So sir,” they’d start each sentence with, continued by Cillian kindly replying to their random questions about Ireland, his name, his age, him basically being oblivious to everything.

Unbeknownst to Cillian, I looked over often, confused at their very specifically themed questions, occasionally getting a soft laugh from him. 

“So, Professor Murphy, are you single?” Lauryn asked. 

“Yeah, sir, you got a lady?” Grace added. 

I heard a slight cough, followed by an awkward laugh. “Um—“ it sounded like he was choking on air. 

“Sir?” Lauryn edged. 

“No, I am not,” he answered. 

My eyebrows furrowed, thinking about why any normal person would answer that, is he that oblivious or is he doing it on purpose? I hesitated for a few seconds, then put up my hand, making Cillian’s head prick up. 

“Yes Y/n?” He smiled, getting up off the table he’d been sat, ready to come over. 

“I’m going to the toilet,” I replied blankly, standing up from my seat, receiving muddled facial expression from him.

“Wait um—“

I left the classroom quickly in efforts to get away from my jealously. I headed down to the nearest restroom and hurried into a cubicle, closing the lid of the toilet and sitting on top. I felt the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child, so I look toward the window to my right, as if the light could soothe me.

I heard the door open.

“Y/n?” It was that familiar Irish voice, soft and comforting, laced with fear and guilt at the same time. 

“What?” I sniffed. 

“I’m so fucking sorry okay, I didn’t realise until they asked that, I promise, please.” 

I didn’t answer.

“I was just being an oblivious old fuck, come on Y/n please.” I heard the other cubicle doors bang open, he must have been inspecting if we were alone, “you know I love you. I know I don’t say it enough, I know...”

His voice sounded near, most likely from him leaning on he cubicle door. It sounded brittle, an agreeable trace of softness and huskiness. 

I put my head against the door too, sighing heavily. “If anything, you say it too much,” I whispered, giving a weak chuckle. 

I clicked the door open to see his heartbroken face, eyes lightly fogged from tears. He reached around me and hugged me tightly, kissing my forehead and running a hand up and down my back for comfort. 

“I think I just overreacted... I’m sorry.” 

“No, no,” he pulled back slightly putting each hand either side of my face, “I should be apologising, I was being fucking stupid, you had a right to be pissed off with me.” 

I gave an airy laugh, making a light smile appear on Cillian face, “I love you too.” 

The smile on his face brightened and he kissed me once again on the forehead. “Come on, let’s get you back to class.”

*time skip*

It was around 8 on a Friday night, just after the dominoes had arrived, rain pouring heavily. We were both in our pyjamas too, him in a pair of forgiving grey sweatpants and a black top, and me in leggings and one of Cillian’s hoodies that was obviously way too big for me. 

“Cillian?” 

“Yeah?” He called back from the kitchen. 

“Do you ever think about the future?”

He came through the door in the living room, a box of pizza in hand, and sat down next to me. “Of course yeah. I think about us too settling down together, I’ll probably end up quitting teaching to do acting full time, and maybe, hopefully, you will join me into the film business too,” he smiled, “and I’m not sure, maybe marriage and kids I guess— wait why? I’m confused, is this a test?”

“What?” I laughed. “No, no it’s not a test I promise, and even if it was, you definitely passed with flying colours.”

“Oh,” He chuckled, opening the pizza box and taking a slice, “what’s with the sudden interest?” 

“I dunno I just was thinking about it today after that incident.”

“Oh okay... and do you feel the same?”

“Yeah Yeah of course, I just wanted to know what you thought.” I hesitated for a second. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, putting the pizza down. 

I breathed out, “Do you not ever think I’m too young for you?” 

“I—“ 

“Like not young specially, just — I don’t know — immature or like inexperienced?”

“No, No of course not,” he reassured. “Where’s this coming from?” 

“I don’t know, I guess from today at school, I reacted wrongly, and also, I know we’ve had sex a few times now, I just — I just always feel so inexperienced and lost.”

“Y/n, it’s okay,” he eases. He caress my jaw with his fingers, allowing his thumb to drag across his bottom lip. I can barely meet his eyes. “Y/n.”

“Fuck, i’m sorry,” I say, looking up again. His eyes glow with sadness. “It’s just— aghh, I bet you think I’m like a fucking child—“

“Y/n, seriously!” he interrupted, ”don’t worry about it.”

I frowned. “Look, maybe I should go,” I suggested. 

“Y/n, come on.”

“No it’s fine, I’ll see you on Monday,” I said quickly getting my shoes on, heading to the front door and eventually leaving. 

The day had been lightly showering, but in the last few hours the rain grew heavier and heavier. The trees offered no shelter to me, droplets the size of almonds smashed their way through the foliage above. My footwear was quickly overwhelmed too, water seeping in through the stitching.

The street bared nothing but rain, I felt lonely and somehow lost in place so familiar, a trip I’d made from mine to his or his to mine hundreds of times. 

I felt so weak, everything hurt.

Suddenly a warm touch of a hand appeared on my shoulder, making my whole body shiver. I turned to see Cillian, hair wet and his poorly chosen black over-coat soaked through. 

“What are you doing here?” I shouted over the loud downpour. 

“I couldn’t let you leave like that. You mean the fucking world to me and I don’t think I’d be able to cope without you. I don’t care about all that shit you said.”

“But you’ll get bored of me,” I argued. 

“I can teach you things you’ve never done. I can take you places you’ve never been, show you things you’ve never seen before.” He paused for a second. “We can do it together, all of it. Trust me, I’ll never get bored of you.”

I stood there for a second, taking it all in, my eyes never leaving his. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” he replied. 

Another pause. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He came closer and kissed the droplets from my lips. Our lips were locked together and the world itself ceased to exist, blurred and indistinct as a wet painting left out in the torrent that fell from the dark cloud above. When we pulled back his eyes were like every fantasy I'd ever had of him, every moment I had wished could exist between the two of us. The kiss, the look, a stolen moment that could have just washed away but instead was set, colour-fast, indelible.

The rain runs down our faces to where our lips meet, each of us tasting the cold drops. Instead of detracting from the intensity of the moment it brings us to new heights. Cillian pushes his lips in more passionately and the wave that runs through me is intoxicating, one hand on my hip, the other by my jaw. 

*time skip*

We arrive back at his house, he closes the door behind him and looks me up and down at my sodden clothes. I take off the hoodie that Cillian had given me and dropped it to the tiled floor, making a slight slapping sound. 

“I can see your bra,” he observed, giving a chuckle. 

“Fuck off,” I laughed as I started taking the rest off. “We didn’t really think this through, you only have one shower,” I remembered, my eyes still focused of myself. 

When I’d finished stripping off to my underwear, I looked up to see Cillian leaning against the wall wearing nothing but black Calvin Kleins, engrossed in my every move. 

I cough slightly, seeing the very present tent in his underwear. “I can see your boner,” I said, copying his tone from earlier. However, instead of saying ‘fuck off’, he came towards me, making my smile grow, realising what all this meant. He had put his arms around my waist but just before he got it low enough, I left the room, heading upstairs to the shower, leaving him confused. 

It wasn’t long before I heard Cillian’s voice again, calling my name in a tone of annoyance and need. By the time I’d turned the shower on, I felt his warm hands from behind, followed by a light slap on my ass, making me turn my head and smile at him. 

I face away from him, taking off my bra and underwear, stepping into the large shower. I turned my head once more, but before I could even invite him in, his black underwear were already dropped to the floor. 

"Sorry, you’re so hot,” I heard him chuckle slightly against my ear as his palms coasted over the span of my stomach, paying special attention my hip bones, the pads of his thumbs caressing them slowly until I turned to face him with my back to the water. “Fuck, Y/n, I love you so much.”

He never failed to take my breath away. The man I’d come to know over the past 8 months had sent my world spinning off its axis, and the best part about it, he was all mine, naked, sharing a shower, smiling at me as if I was the most gorgeous creature on earth - and in his estimation, I was.

"It’s okay," I replied with a small laugh just as he leaned down to press his mouth to mine in a soft, chaste kiss. “And I love you too by the way.”

“You do?" He joked, his fingertips all but chasing water droplets down my spine until they coasted over the curve of my ass, to pull me flush against him. 

"You can’t tell?" I teased with a small smirk of my own that matched his most excellently, his lips making it a bit hard to say anything more as he came at mine in a lazily but all too sensual kiss, both us smiling throughout. 

One hand moved between my body and his and I knew where he was going before even he moved another inch downward, I’d basically asked for this after all. So when two fingers pushed past my folds to massage my clit, I had no excuse. 

I’d managed to keep my footing for now, arms tightening around his neck, but that was until the little shit brought his fingers up, bringing them to his mouth to suck them clean of my taste, watching me as he did so with an all too 'is there a problem Y/n?' kind of way. 

And that was when playtime was over and he had my thighs in strong hands to lift me from the shower floor, just in time too, due the the likelihood of my knees giving way. 

Back pressed to the shower wall Cillian ground his hips against mine as he kissed me with a passion that made the world spin, water spilling over his back now to bleed onto me to make skin on skin feel that much hotter, that much more sensual, and made me moan that much more needily against his lips that claimed mine like he owned them.

And he did.

Fuck did he.

We’d both had a hard day, and this obviously was some kind of accumulation of a need he'd been working too hard to truly satisfy with me lately, and I was quite happy to fulfill the role of the girlfriend right now.

Mouth leaving mine, Cillian sucked at the wet skin of my neck, the sounds of suction from his tongue and lips echoing in the bathroom among the falling water and my panted breath while he ground his now exceedingly hard cock against my heat.

He put me down carefully and quickly getting a condom from the cabinet under the sink, leaving me in slight shock for a good 10 seconds. 

He finally returned and mirrored our prior position, however now my ass was gripped and he was adjusting me to bring his tip to my folds.

"Fuck-" He breathed the curse that made me flush all the more, but that was nothing as he slid his length inside my heat, making the world catch fire and my walls clench around his size that throbbed inside my tightness.

“Cillian,” I mumbled. 

And now, he was manic, his cock fully entered into me, while I moaned against his kisses, his pelvic bone at my clit in such a way that he knew I liked. 

"Good girl," He breathed as he bit my bottom lip. 

He started to move. 

Over and over Cillian moved inside me, my back sliding against the wall as he had no mercy and fuck if I asked for any. Attentive wasn't even a good enough adjective for the way he worked my body, massaging my clit, finding all my little buttons that he'd explored on only a small number of occasions. 

White hot liquid heat was flooding through me now and he was obviously losing himself too, water soaked hair clinging to his forehead, barely hiding the furrow in his brow as he watched, looking down with those lust filled eyes to see the way it looked when I took every inch of his cock over and over, hips jutting out in such a powerful way the insides of my thighs started to turn a flushed pink.

"Come for me, fuck, come for me," He demanded, and as I reached euphoria, Cillian was right there with me, filling the condom with hot release and riding out his high in such a primal but sensual fashion.


End file.
